BY SAMANTHA MULLETT
One of the more recent additions to Mad Decent’s label is rap artist RiFF RAFF, who rose from the depths of MTV and joined rap group, Three Loco, with Andy Milonakis and Dirt Nasty. The 27 year-old Texan got his big break on the reality show, G’s to Gent’s, and although got eliminated after the second episode, RiFF RAFF caught the right eyes and ears to take his rap career to an actual level. It’s difficult to believe the grillz-wearing, neon-sporting character isn’t a part of a reality cartoon, but he certainly knows how to animate his interviews. Here are the top ten (i.e. most ridiculous) RiFF RAFF interview answers we could find.
“What type of student were you?”
RiFF RAFF: Class Clown, Valedictorian. Meaning, I talk shit and don’t listen… but I always get straight A’s.
“How do you stay fit?”
RiFF RAFF: Fried okra, fried mashed potatoes, twizzlers. You want your fresh fruits and vegetables, and then you want to batter dip that. And then you want to steam fry that. You takin’ notes? Write that down.
“What invention would you create?”
RiFF RAFF: Teleporting. Airplanes suck, unless you’re private. First class even sucks.
“Last meal of choice?”
RiFF RAFF: I have no last meal. Everything gonna live forever.
“Do you see yourself having a wife & kids?”
RiFF RAFF: I don’t know about a wife, maybe multiple wives. Maybe, yeah, how many kids no matter. Not right now though, I could see myself having like 50 wives and 50 kids and living on a mf* island.
“What’s with the lowercase I’s?”
RiFF RAFF: That’s a good question.
“So you’re from Texas, are you a Mavericks fan?”
RiFF RAFF: Yeah… I coulda been on the Mavericks but they found weed in my jacket.
“What’s the realest shxt you ever wrote?”
RiFF RAFF: When I signed a receipt…at Versace.
“How many tattoos do you have?”
RiFF RAFF: Lost count. I think like 35 or 83. One of those.
“ How has your life changed in the past year?
RiFF RAFF: It has been a classic Cinderella story, I went RiFF RAFF to Jody Highroller in the matter of a micro minute, or it might be macro minute, depending on whichever one is faster and whichever one ends up spread-eagle on a panda skin couch with a left hand filled with 2.7 million dollars and a right hand filled with a 22oz. cup filled with syrup in the Shasta…
If you want to pretend for a minute that you know more than we do about music, go ahead, send us your thoughts. Hit us with your best shot, we dare you 😉